Friday, April 24, 2009

I have a blog

While getting bombarded with the barrage of questions about what I've been doing with my time I told someone at a party this weekend that I "had a blog". Granted I've told this to a quite a few people in the past few months but mostly friends of mine who aren't judging me. As I was telling this almost stranger that I "had a blog" I realized what a total tool I am. Like who has a blog? Up until the minute this blog was created Aldous and I had no idea what a blog was. To set it up I googled "how to set up a blog". We used to throw the term around in meetings to prove we really had our fingers on the pulse of society but for all we knew a blog was the latest Trader Joes cookie offering. While we were working we probably would have curbed anyone who told us they had a blog but now its my main conversation piece at dinner. Unemployment has really changed me, next thing you know I'll be reading Wired magazine and using a Kindle -- yea right, I'll never be that much of a tool.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Jobless Etiquette

Some woman was just on the Today show talking about "Jobless Etiquette". There was a lot of jibberish talk but she made two good points. One was: if you ask someone what they do and they say "I got laid off" don't act like they just said they have three months to live. I feel much better about saying "I got laid off" then I did about saying what I used to do. Your job starts becoming part of who you are in people's minds and I felt like it made me a tool. So when you respond "Investment banking" I might act like you just said you have three months to live. No offense. The other was that if you're out with a group of people and only one person lost their job, the others should pick up their share of the tab. This is the smartest piece of advice ever given during the Hoda and Kathie Lee hour. Who has a job and wants to go to Per Se?

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

My new crew

While initially I was really enjoying all the alone time my unemployment afforded me I now find myself seeking out conversation with people I encounter throughout my day. I started with my mail-lady (since I sit outside on the stoop waiting for her everyday she was an obvious choice), she was cool, she likes to smoke cigarettes, which seems dangerous to me given all the paper she deals with, but who I am to judge. Next I moved on to the fruit stand guy (hoping I could haggle him down to 5 bananas for $1) but his English is not so good and there were always a lot of flies around him so I moved on. I've identified some folks at the gym whom I've decided could form a bad-ass posse. These people clearly also have no jobs -- they are there too much, they're in no sort of hurry and rather than avert their eyes when someone looks at them (like most normal people at the gym) they hold your stare hoping a conversation will strike up...and then maybe coffee. In my mind we're all WestSide Story-like with matching sweatbands and Taebo kicks. The problem with the gym crew is that when I want to ditch them, things could get weird around the gym and I don't need anyone pushing me off a threadmill (you can't take those kinds of risks without health insurance).

Eye pokes and kicks in the balls

I poked myself in the eye yesterday and it reminded me of being a kid for some reason. As I thought about it I realized that it's because throughout the single digit years two injuries alternate happening every other day - getting poked in the eye and hurting your balls. I'm not sure if it's P.E. class or recess or just people wanting to kick you in the balls but somehow both of those things happen all the time. I don't know if for girls it might be eye pokes and boob injuries, but probably not. Even if it was, it wouldn't be the same. I get the feeling a boob injury is as painful as popping a small zit. And it probably doesn't spread throughout your torso. So while I don't miss either injury I'd probably pick both over having to "grow up".