Saturday, March 14, 2009

Reality TV

So I think a really good activity for the unemployed could be trying to get on reality shows. One of my first thoughts was True Life on MTV because they follow people around for no reason. Maybe not no reason, but pretty dumbass reasons. Like you're from Staten Island or have a pet. If you go you can check out upcoming show topics. They include: "I'm unhappy with my small breasts", "I'm unhappy with my large breasts" and "I'm a guido". None of those work for me. You think they'd do "I'm unemployed". It'd be a really easy production for the crew because they'd only have to move the camera from my bedroom to my couch. Sporadically follow me to the kitchen and then back to the couch. It'd be awesome. So I think I'm gonna go for the Amazing Race instead.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Unpaid waiting week -- what the f&*#!

For those of you who still have jobs let me know tell you about what you have to look forward to -- an unpaid waiting week. This is what the government calls your first week of unemployment and decides that you don't need to be paid for. Apparently this is my punishment for getting laid off, as if the process of trying to get unemployment in the first place wasn't enough.  I mean, for all they know I could have 10 kids at home living off a bucket of KFC waiting for that check so  I could buy an 8-ball. Luckily, things haven't gotten that bad, yet.  

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

The Stress of NOT Getting Laid Off

Will the people with jobs ever stop complaining?  Interesting article came out today about how people who still have jobs experience more stress than those who get laid off due to the constant threat of getting the ax. I noticed this the minute we got laid off.  We headed straight to the bar, laughing and enjoying ourselves but when all our still-employed co-workers showed up they never stopped bitching about how worried they were about 'being next', it almost ruined my buzz. The drunker I got the more I reminded them to stop thinking about themselves and focus on refilling my empty glasses. I mean, we're the ones everyone should be focusing on, and more importantly buying drinks for. We eventually bounced those losers so we could high-five and celebrate without being judged.