Reality TV

So I think a really good activity for the unemployed could be trying to get on reality shows. One of my first thoughts was True Life on MTV because they follow people around for no reason. Maybe not no reason, but pretty dumbass reasons. Like you're from Staten Island or have a pet. If you go MTV.com you can check out upcoming show topics. They include: "I'm unhappy with my small breasts", "I'm unhappy with my large breasts" and "I'm a guido". None of those work for me. You think they'd do "I'm unemployed". It'd be a really easy production for the crew because they'd only have to move the camera from my bedroom to my couch. Sporadically follow me to the kitchen and then back to the couch. It'd be awesome. So I think I'm gonna go for the Amazing Race instead.

Unpaid waiting week -- what the f&*#!

For those of you who still have jobs let me know tell you about what you have to look forward to -- an unpaid waiting week. This is what the government calls your first week of unemployment and decides that you don't need to be paid for. Apparently this is my punishment for getting laid off, as if the process of trying to get unemployment in the first place wasn't enough.  I mean, for all they know I could have 10 kids at home living off a bucket of KFC waiting for that check so  I could buy an 8-ball. Luckily, things haven't gotten that bad, yet.  

The Stress of NOT Getting Laid Off

Will the people with jobs ever stop complaining?  Interesting article came out today about how people who still have jobs experience more stress than those who get laid off due to the constant threat of getting the ax. I noticed this the minute we got laid off.  We headed straight to the bar, laughing and enjoying ourselves but when all our still-employed co-workers showed up they never stopped bitching about how worried they were about 'being next', it almost ruined my buzz. The drunker I got the more I reminded them to stop thinking about themselves and focus on refilling my empty glasses. I mean, we're the ones everyone should be focusing on, and more importantly buying drinks for. We eventually bounced those losers so we could high-five and celebrate without being judged.

http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1883614.00.html?cnn=yes

Part of Something

You know what feels good? Being part of something. So when February unemployment numbers came out I felt like I had 651,000 new friends. If we all got together we could probably have a really good party. Except I probably wouldn't get along with a lot of them. I wish they gave exact numbers though. Like 651,214. That way I could really feel like I made a difference. 

Finished Catcher in the Rye. Top 5 books of all time.

The Science of Getting Rich

Yes apparently it is an exact science according to the book I just read, which is a very bad start for me considering my inability at anything scientific (while everyone took Biology freshman year I was taking Intro to Physical Science).  And while the book was written in 1910 it does have a lot of valuable information for today's world.  The whole jist of the book is that if you focus on what you want and remain completely and solely focus on getting it, it will happen.  Now only if I could figure out what I want to do with my life.  So far I've been focusing on how to get paid handsomely for not working and partying constantly, will let you know how that goes.

F'd up teeth

I decided to read Catcher in the Rye on my down time (I actually had two calls yesterday to get two different projects rolling, so I now consider some parts of my day "down time"). During the first few pages there's a part that reminded me of a random thing that used to annoy the shit out of me about my old office. The narrator describes his neighbor's teeth and how they always look "fuzzy" and disgusting. If I had read this book while I still had a job I would type out that passage and print it out poster size and put it outside my desk. I'd say 60% of people there had crust on their teeth that had apparently been there for years. That kind of yellow shit that looks like plaster and has filled in every space around their teeth and made the fronts of them look like those textured walls. Sometimes catch phrases spread at offices, like "Sophie's choice" or "Monday morning quarterback" or "let's look at it from 30,000 ft". At that office word got out that dirty ass teeth made you sound smart. There was also a serious B.O. problem. Strange but true.

Class of '09 - sorry guys

Previous post reminds me that someone had asked me to talk to a senior from Villanova who wanted to get into my ex-industry (it's lame so I won't get into it). I kept scheduling calls with the kid but kept having to re-schedule. Half-way through that process I got shit-canned. I never wrote him back. I feel like kind of a dick but when I think about it a lot I think I did him a favor.
A) if I had to give advice on that kind of thing it'd be mostly bullshit and B) he should do something different with his life, and that may be kind of a downer for a kid who just majored in it. So if you ever read this dude, you're welcome.
And to everyone graduating this year from college, good timing with the whole being born in the late 80's thing.

This is how bad things are..

So I got an invitation from my college a few weeks ago for an alumni networking event.  After staring at it for a few weeks I decided I should be responsible and called today to RSVP. Why not I figured, there could be some big reality TV show producer there who wants to give me my own show.  Well, I call and they tell me they can put me on the 'waiting list' (#19 on the waiting list to be exact) because the event is already full.  Well jokes on those who 'got in' because its going to be 100 unemployed people networking with each other talking about which Starbucks are hiring.

Nothing

Had a good weekend ignoring the fact that I didn't get a paycheck last Friday. Then didn't do anything all day today. This is what I said I wouldn't do, sit around watch TV. I saw Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist. Very disappointed, but made me debate if I want to leave NY. And wonder if that kid from Superbad is funny in real life. I'm gonna get back on track tomorrow. Once I do get/ create a job I think I will attend it Tuesday through Thursdays. I think that's a good work week.

No more Sunday night blues

The best part of being unemployed has to be the absence of that horrific feeling on Sunday nights that you have to go back to that place Monday morning.  Just thinking about all the people who are crying themselves to sleep tonight makes me feel 100% ok with not having a job.